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Monday, February 25, 2008

ABC Says Next Year They Will Remake "Alex Haley's Roots"---Was I the Only One that Thought ABC BUTCHERED "A Raisin in the Sun"?

THIS JUST IN.... ABC has announced that next year, they are going to remake Alex Haley's Roots with Sean Combs reprising the role of Kunta Kinte, David Banner will play Toby, Beyonce will play Binta, Lil Boy Wow will play Fiddler, T.I ( if he can beat the charges) will play Bud and O. J. Simpson (if he can beat the charges) will reprise his role as Kadi Touray. Basically any Black non-actor with enough money to purchase an executive producing credit can be in ABC's remake of "Roots" Just kidding, but I mean what great American classic is going to be butchered next?

You know how in professional sports, once a great athlete has retired, they will sometimes retire the jersey. Hang it from the rafters. They are basically saying that there will never be another player on earth quite as good as the guy who wore the jersey. They need to do that with movies too. In fact, they need to do that with every role Sidney Poitier has ever played okay. Can we just all agree that Sidney Poitier is a character career killer. Once he plays a role, its a wrap for all eternity. I could almost have seen Denzel MAYBE pull off Walter Younger, but PUFFY? Come on. Now to understand just how atrocious the ABC re adaptation was, take a look at the end of the original movie.

That was just painful to watch. Money may have purchased him an executive producer credit and an acting role, but it did not buy him TALENT. TALENT, y'all remember that? I am embarrassed for Puffy. I mean Sean Combs, I mean Walter Younger-- and I am embarrassed for Phylicia Rashad for having to fix her lips to say that she has seen the growth in Puffy's acting abilities. Really? He's grown? I love Phylicia Rashad from her days as Clair Huxtable and I also loved those "Polly" movies she did with Keisha Knight Pulliam, but either it was written into your contract that you had to compliment Puffy's acting abilities, you are an extremely nice person, or you are no judge of acting abilities.

If Sean Combs ( let's use his "professional" acting name) was the only problem in the movie, then I could write if off as my anti-Puffy animus kicking in, on account that he is a practitioner of the Concubine Conspiracy and whatnot, however, it was not just Puffy's horrific, truly dreadful, did I mention his tragic acting? Anywho, it wasn't just Puffy's act-by-numbers rendition of Walter, but Audra McDonald's, Ruth Younger, can't TOUCH Ruby Dee.

Sorry Audra, I love your voice and I love you in musicals, but when it comes to long suffering wives, Ruby Dee has you beat. On stage I am sure it worked, but on the tiny screen, I just couldn't buy you putting up with Puffy. I mean Walter. It was like watching Baryshnikov star in a 5th grade dance recital. No matter how wonderful an actress you are, when your co star's ability is so limited, you end up overpowering him and I know you tried, I know you do, but stick to stage. You have a gift. Television made for TV movies ain't yours.

Sanaa Lathan, I can't really say too much about you. Diana Sands was better just because she was first and she didn't have to deal with that tragic wig that the Mickey Mouse network stuck you with the whole movie. It showed that you probably have a few movie credits under your belt, but you basically reprised your role in "Love and Basketball" and "Something New". Watch out now or you are going to get type cast as the daughter who has conflict with your mother who doesn't get you and you want more for your life blah blah blah. The only difference is that this time Alfrie Woodard didn't play your mom the way she did in both L&B and "Something New", although now that I think about it, she would have been a better casting decision than Phylicia Rashad.

Yes, I know, that brings me to Phylicia Rashad... Y'all know I loves me some Claire Huxtable and it just hurt my HEART to see you brought so low as to have to act opposite some young rap producer because he has money and ABC thinks that you can just throw any hip hop artist in a made for TV movie and it will be a hit. Forget the CRAFT of acting. Forget TALENT. Forget Training. Forget Diction. Forget it all! You were good... but I am sad to say, I liked the original Lena Younger better. When you slapped Sanaa Lathan, I mean Beneatha and said "Now you say after me. In my Mother's house there is still GOD!" it didn't quite carry the weight of the original version.

Claudia Mcneil's Lena looked like she was going to put Beneatha in the ground.

Now some might say, "WAOD lady, you ought jes' be grateful ABC don' thought enough of ze' Black people to do the remake" I call FOOLISHNESS. The truth is that ABC should have just re aired the original. THAT would have been Black HISTORY right there. Teaching these kids what real acting looks like and not the Tyler Perry squint your eyes and furrow your brow and look confused/angry method acting we saw in this most recent remake.

It is time to retire "A Raisin in the Sun". Either play the original movie version, or don't air it at all. Seriously. ABC should burn the remains of whatever that was they aired tonight because I could have gotten a group of high school kids to put on what we saw tonight. To all of you who said you were not going to watch because you were such fans of the original version. YOU WERE RIGHT! Lord Y'all were right. To all the critics who praised this movie, y'all are either blind or y'all are under the same contract poor Phylicia Rashad signed not to trash Puffy's acting.

But sreiously, if they remade "A Raisin in the Sun" what's next?? Roots? Imitation of Life? The Grinch that Stole Christmas? Oh i forget, they already remade that one... and it sucked too!