ESSENCE "Do Right Men" Want to Give us All Diabetes!-Mr. WAOD???

ATTENTION LADIES ( and some gentlemen- we don't discriminate 'round here), today is your VERY LAST DAY to vote in ESSENCE Magazine's "Do Right Man of the YEAR" Competition.

Since it is almost over, it is now safe to post about ESSENCE's semi-annual attempt to prey upon the paranoia of single professional Black women. Its the semi annual "Sistahs I don't know Why Y'all All Still Single Because there are Plenty of Good Black Men Out Here, y'all just too picky!" psychological warfare.

Y'all know all we unmarried professional Black women are all going to die old and alone and be eaten alive by nine cats! MEOW! I told y'all not to get all high and mighty and go out and get a degree and whatnot--we're all unmarriagable now. Oh and you went out and purchased a home as well? Oh well just pull out the Friskies cat food right now! Tis OVA! All is lost! Sistas run for your LIIIIVES!

For about a month, I have been getting email blasts from ESSENCE.com about this"Do Right Man" competition. My dear friend and I had a hoot when I spotted a few folks she has dated and more than a few of these "Do Right" men are NOTmay not be single( according to her). But anyway, we had a good laugh about it going through the list to see if there was anybody else that we know. Tis a very . small. world.

But while perusing this list of "Do Right" men I noticed something VERY WRONG....almost every single DO-Right man's most "romantic" gesture involves food:

“I once serenaded a special someone with a song on a yacht dinner
cruise.” The Lawyer

Maree says he once sent an anonymous letter to a woman that he really liked
and asked her to meet him at a four-star restaurant on the
beach. Quite a risk but Charles says, “The evening went very well.” The
Fireman

No seriously, they all mention food. Even the "medical professionals" who should know better:

After she had a hard day at work, “I cooked my girlfriend’s
favorite meal and drew bathwater for her. With Luther Vandross
playing in the background, I washed and rubbed her feet.” Doctor

Here is another doctor:

“A young woman I went to college with was frustrated about not having been
voted homecoming queen. So I compiled [a collage] with several photos of her on
the homecoming court and bought her a cake that read ‘You Are
My Homecoming Queen.’ ” Doctor

I ain't gon' lie, the arts and crafts collage idea was kinda tight.. minus the sugary sweet diabetes inducing cake. No wonder we all got issues with "sugar" and high blood pressure. Oh wait, here is one that didn't talk about food:

“When a woman I was seeing was venting to me about something, I just
listened until she was through. I believe that is the most romantic thing a
man can do. Sometimes a woman just needs to know you’re there.” Dooooctoooor

Too bad at 48 he is just over my 15-year cut off. Tis a shame. Gosh darnit' and there I was picking out a china pattern and bridesmaids dresses. Oh well. Here is another one that wants to clog our precious arteries:

I once surprised a special lady by preparing a romantic,
home-cooked, four-course, candlelit dinner.” Real
Estate MOGUL

Don't you feel your blood sugar spiking right about now. What's with the four and five course meals. Appetizer, entree, dessert. That's it. And it keeps going. R&B "Crooner" Jaheim wants to kill us all too:

Jaheim also likes treating you to some home-cooked comfort
food. Jaheim

Even the athletes want to fatten us up:

“He’ll trade his playbook for a cookbook and work hard to captivate with five
courses. Baby-oiled Down NFL player.

Is he counting the salad and rolls as a course???Now you mean to tell me not ONE person has noticed this pattern? Can a sister get a sonnet? A PO-EM? Nope, but we'll give her some scampi with a side of spare ribs.

If sipping fine champagne on a secluded beach, enjoying mellow music, and sampling delectable nibbles is your idea of a great date,
Ferguson is the guy for you. Another NFL Player I Ain't Ever Heard of

Delectable NIBBLES? Why not just say his idea of a romantic evening is hooking a sister up to a feeding tube? ESSENCE is trying to kill us all one biscuit at a time!!! Run for your lives SISTAS!!! RUN LIKE THE HOUNDS OF HELL AND NIPPING Nibbling AT YOUR ANKLES! With a side of fava beans and potato salad and raspberry tea.

MR WAOD?

So all this has gotten me to thinking, should have our own competition? I don't want to wound the sensibilities of my culinary- challenged male readership. Because here at WAOD, we try not to discriminate based on gender or cooking ability. Do y'all think we should have a MR. WAOD Competition like ESSENCE.com?

We can have men submit videotapes of themselves performing essential functions like:

1. Cooking on something other than a grill,
2. Changing a tire/ using a tire gauge PROPERLY!!
3. Opening a jar of pickles,
4. Putting down the toilet seat,
5. Sitting outside the women's dressing room holding some shopping bags and a purse
6. Assembling some furniture from IKEA (using all the parts that came in the box- No "Black engineering" allowed!)
7. Other miscellaneous tasks.

We could culminate it with a phone interview on a podcast. Or would that objectify Black men too much?

Brother's let us know, did you feel objectified by ESSENCE.com's "Do Right Man" competition? Was it fair to have regla' brothers go up against baby oiled-down NFL players? Is this REVERSE SEXISM? Can you compete with brothers who are cooking their women "a meal of shrimp and scallop pasta and served on the beach"? (I can just feel the sand grinding away at my tooth enamel as I try to eat sauce laden pasta on a beach.) Can you compete with a brother who bakes oatmeal cookies? Can you perform a tropical fruit-scented massage?

“The delicious feel of a head-to-toe, nice-and-slow massage. The invigorating
scent of warmed botanical oils. The tantalizing taste of ripe tropical fruit...”

Is this fair brothers? I say IS IT FAIR? Can you compete with fresh baked bread and gourmet cheese? And granted more than a few of us are holding it down for the CGU, but really do Black men really think romance = food? No, am serious. Is Black love all about the DRANKS and VITTLES in 2008??

I say we all vote for this guy because he is the only finalist old enough to rent a car at a major US airport.

What does Jesse Jackson think of Clinton's controversial comments? Gina knows.

by guest contributor Tami of What Tami Said

What does Jesse Jackson think of former President Bill Clinton's controversial recent attempt to paint Barack Obama as the Jackson of 2008? A black blogger, our own warrior princess Gina, was the first to get the scoop from Jackson himself.

Gina, on assignment for Essence magazine, recently spoke with Jackson, who is in India as the country marks the 60th anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi's assassination. In addition to getting the former presidential candidate's thoughts on Clinton's remarks, Gina also spoke to him about many of the issues raised here on What About Our Daughters and on the Black Women's Roundtable. Can a black candidate transcend race? Will African Americans automatically be better off under a black president? Will we see a black woman candidate win multiple primaries and caucuses in our life times? Why is the civil rights industrial complex so lukewarm about Barack Obama?

The interview is up on essence.com.

This Week's WAOD Wagging Finger of SHAME Award: Tatsha Robertson

By: Symphony, WAOD Contributor
This Week's Wagging Finger of Shame Award Goes to Essence magazine editor Tatsha Robertson for being a complete and total embarrassment to Black women everywhere for saying this foolishness on CNN:

"Even though she's Hillary Clinton, they [Black women] see themselves, you know, within her, dealing with the family issues, the infidelity issues."

According to CNN's Chris Lawrence Robertson says Clinton's ultimate embarrassment is her greatest asset. Robertson went on to say:

"She decided, you know, whether she wanted to stay or not, and I really think, you know, people respect that about Hillary Clinton, especially black women. " (SOURCE)

CNN has the video up. .
*Man, I didn't want to do that to Essence, LOL. Gina is somewhere falling off a chair, choking off of a snort and shaking her head all at the same time. DOH! -Symphony.

Thank You Essence! - Look Mama! (Updated w/ Blog Reactions)

One more thing before I creep out the door. I had hoped to delay saying anything until December 1st, but a press release went out this weekend and other bloggers are talking about it. Essence decided to put me on their list of "The 25 Most Influential of 2007." When they asked, I thought it was something like the "40 Under 40" list they do with ordinary folks. I didn't realize I would be on the list with famous folks.

Y'all know I criticize Essence on the regular. In fact I had just written THIS POST ("The Concubine Conspiracy")telling people to cancel their subscriptions like the day before they called:

The Concubine Conspiracy can find no greater friend than Essence Magazine. Because we're less than, we ought not to be so outrageous as to wait for an offer of marriage before popping out three kids by the same man. Oh no, we ought to rent out our wombs as part of the "concubine conspiracy" (copyright WAOD September 10,2007. Yeah, I'm claiming it!)so that Essence magazine can put us on the cover of an issue called "No Ordinary Love" waxing poetic about why you still with a man that will impregnate you repeatedly, but won't make you his wife. ( Yeah, went. there. again.) While he is running all over the place sowing his wild oats apparently impregnating other women too.

When the "ordinary love" goes *poof* as if the fiction ever existed in the first place, Essence turns around and gives you more free space to advertise the virtues of renting out your womb. As if you are victorious for having to pack up your kids AGAIN and flee your home in a clandestine operation the likes of which the CIA could not pull off with such precision. You get an entire article when y'all part ways for the 1003th time telling us all about yo baby daddy impregnating yet another girl down in Atlanta. Who cares? Really Essence WHO CARES?

I thought they were calling to chew me out so when she said they wanted to put me on some list, I was like, "You have read the blog haven't y'all. I criticize y'all on the regular. " She said it didn't matter. I said she needed to make sure folks knew I criticize the magazine first. I didn't want to tell Mama I was going to be on the list and then have them say "Never mind"

My crusade to defund THAT SHOW was what apparently drew their attention to WAOD, but one good by product of the aftermath of THAT SHOW is that Essence did a special report on Megan Williams and Dunbar Village and the lack of public outrage. It begins on page 210 of the November 2007 issue.

I had a blast. Everybody from Essence was so nice to me. I even got to wear fake eye lashes for the first time. I only wear makeup to court, so the makeup artist and I had a blast. Wassup Tina! Special shout out to Randal, the photographer. That red sweater is my part of my hobo outfit ( black tank top, leggins, and the red sweater) that I use to run errands. I actually brought a suit, but when I changed into my navy suit he was like "what happened to the red?" I was like " You want me to wear hobo outfit" Good times. Good times! Anyway, here is the press release from Essence.

NEW YORK, Nov. 16 /PRNewswire/ -- ESSENCE magazine reflects back on 2007 and recognizes 25 distinguished African-Americans who have made a difference. From triumphs on the playing field to victories in the court of public opinion, from groundbreaking moments in politics and entertainment to the hard-fought battles of everyday heroes, ESSENCE salutes those that gave everybody much to talk about in 2007. Senator Barack Obama received the most votes in an online poll on essence.com, earning recognition as the "Readers' Choice" for the year's most influential African-American.

"Some of the most poignant moments in African-American history took place in 2007, from the unified stance that was taken in support of the JENA Six and the Rutgers University Women's Basketball team to the triumphant victory made by Barry Bonds," says Angela Burt-Murray, editor-in-chief, ESSENCE. "Making their voices heard on essence.com, the overwhelmingly positive response from our 8 million readers for Senator Obama as African-American of the Year is noteworthy, as African-American women are predicted to be the tipping point for the Black vote in the 2008 election."

"I am deeply honored to be named ESSENCE Magazine's "Readers' Choice: African-American of the Year," says Senator Barack Obama. "Michelle and I have long admired ESSENCE for its invaluable role in celebrating the rich talents, beauty and spirit of African American women. It means a great deal to me to have the support of my fellow ESSENCE readers."

Although the list honors renowned ministers like Rev. Jesse Jackson, Rev. Al Sharpton and Bishop T.D. Jakes, and famous entertainers like Beyonce Knowles and Don Cheadle, unsung heroes are included as well, such as Majora Carter, founder of Sustainable South Bronx, a community organization dedicated to environmental rejuvenation. Newark mayor Cory A. Booker is also featured for his accomplishments, including a decline in city shootings, which are down 28 percent under his leadership.

The melange of influencers, ranging from actors and advocates to moguls and students, were compiled in a compelling feature of rarely seen before photos and biographical profiles.

    25 Most Influential List
-- Senator Barack Obama
-- Gina McCauley- Blogger, whataboutourdaughters.com [LOOK MAMA! THAT'S ME RIGHT BELOW BARACK OBAMA!]
-- Tyler Perry - Writer, Producer, Director
-- Majora Carter - Environmentalist, Founder, Executive Director,
Sustainable South Bronx
-- Victoria Lanier- Former Youth Director, NAACP, Northeast Region
-- Reverend Jesse L. Jackson - Civil Rights Activist, Minister
-- Reverend Al Sharpton - Civil Rights Activist and President, National
Action Network
-- The JENA Six
-- Beyonce Knowles - Singer, Songwriter, Actress
-- Oprah Winfrey - Media Mogul, School Founder
-- Timbaland - Music Producer, Recording Artist
-- Cory A. Booker - Mayor of Newark, New Jersey
-- Lovie Smith - Head Coach, NFC Champions, Chicago Bears
-- Tony Dungy - Head Coach, Super Bowl Champions, Indianapolis Colts
-- Deval Patrick - Governor, Massachusetts
-- Don Cheadle - Actor, Activist
-- Shonda Rhimes - Creator, Executive Producer, Grey's Anatomy and Private
Practice
-- Venus Williams - Tennis Champion
-- Charles Rangel - Chairman, House Committee on Ways and Means
-- Barry Bonds - "Home Run King" [they decided the list back in August or so]
-- Cynthia Tucker - Syndicated Columnist, Editorial Page Editor, Atlanta
Journal-Constitution
-- The Scarlet Knights - Rutgers University Women's Basketball Team, NCAA
Finalists
-- Kiri Davis - Filmmaker, Youth Activist
-- Bishop T.D. Jakes - Founder, Senior Pastor, The Potter's House of
Dallas
-- Steve Harvey - Radio Personality, Comedian, Actor

About Essence Communications Inc.:

Essence Communications Inc. (ECI) is the leading media and communications company dedicated to African-American women. With a multi-platform presence in publishing, live events, and online, the Essence brand is "Where Black Women Come First". The company's flagship publication, ESSENCE magazine, is the preeminent lifestyle magazine for African-American women; generating brand extensions such as the Essence Music Festival, Women Who Are Shaping the World Leadership Summit, Window on Our Women (WOW I & II) and Smart Beauty I, II & III consumer insights, the Essence Book Club, Essence.com, and ventures in digital media (mobile, television and VOD) via Essence Studios. For 37 years, ESSENCE magazine, which has a readership of 7.8 million, has been the leading source of cutting-edge information relating to every area of African-American women's lives. Additional information about ECI and ESSENCE is available at essence.com.

Website: http://www.essence.com//

2007 was the coming out party for Black bloggers. In 2008 we're going to be on fire! Join in on the fun at the Blogging While Brown Conference in Atlanta, GA July 25-27, 2008. It is the first international conference for bloggers of color and the readers who love to read and comment on them. See you there. History is going to be made. Don't sit on the sidelines!

Blog Reactions

Welcome EurWeb Readers. EURWEB has always given me shine, back before any of the drama with THAT SHOW popped off. Thanks Mr. Bailey! My boy Mo' from the Mo' Kelly Report had me sweating for about 15 seconds when I was reading his reaction to the folks on Essence's list over at Eurweb -"Essence Magazine- Officially Irrelevant" I shared some of his thoughts, but I think it would be tacky for me to comment on the other folks on the same list that I am on. I would sound like an ungrateful wretch Michael Bell's daddy. Yeah, I said it. I still got the pepper! *headed back on vacation now. Carry on.*