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Monday, November 5, 2007

Bizarre Weather Phenomenon Threatens to Freeze Hell Over- Evacuations Underway

HELL-- November 4, 2007- Officials in Hell began a mandatory evacuation as a bizarre weather phenomenon threatened to freeze Hell over. The Devil ordered the evacuations after the lakes of fire were reduced to simmer.
.http://farm1.static.flickr.com/55/113830985_09f377146d.jpg?v=0“We haven't seen temperatures drop this quickly since there were rumors that Mary Wilson and Diana Ross would be reuniting for a tour,” the Devil said.

Most of Hell's residents were evacuated to Hell's northernmost outpost, BET Headquarters located in Washington, DC.

“We wanted our residents to be around other demon spirits during this very difficult time, said Lucifer, Hell's Director of Climate Control.

Lucifer said that the evacuations had gone smoothly with one exception, some of Hell's residents were greeted by a blogger named Attorneymom, who insisted on reprimanding the evacuees as they made their way into BET headquarters before she was dragged off by two other bloggers, BlkSeaGoat and Johnny, who were wearing shirts that said “Attorneymom, you are no one's Holy Ghost!

Lucifer was perplexed by the heckling blogger. “ I mean they have already been condemned to eternal damnation, what else does she (Attorneymom) want?”

“I just want to make sure,” said Attorneymom via a statement she issued from her blog, Character Corner.

The cold day in Hell was apparently the result of a New York Times article that may have left the impression that Gina, from the blog, What About Our Daughters?a frequent critic of Black Entertainment Television who has been supportive of the protests outside Lee's home agreed with BET CEO, Debra Lee regarding protests by the Enough is Enough Campaign.


Officials in Hell breathed a sigh of relief this evening as it appears that Hell has indeed NOT frozen over. Gina does not agree with Debra Lee. Officials in Hell had mixed feelings about the turn of events.

"Our demon spirits working at BET were excited by the possibility that Gina agreed with us, but we had to weigh that with the possibility of Hell freezing over."Lucifer said. "We were torn."

They were however excited that Gina vowed not to do another BET-related interview until January 2008. She was heard muttering “Come Hell or high water.”

WARNING:this post might be loaded with sarcasm, symbolism, similes, metaphors, personification or other figures of speech and is not meant to be taken literally. While many BET employees and supporters believe Gina is the spawn of Satan, they have merely confused her with Debra Lee, his bride.

*takes a seat on the WAOD stoop and enjoys a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade- sometimes you just have to laugh it off.*

If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy "Satan's Lawyers to Bishop Tommy "The Hit Man" Weeks..... "Stop Slandering Our Client or Else!"