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Monday, June 30, 2008

The Juanity Bynum and Tommy "the Hitman" Weeks Divorce is Final

Ode To the Bynum Weeks,

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Don't call on me,

I'll call on you

...OR NOT!
The Lord Almighty

Our long national nightmare is over.

Yes, y'all the New Face of Domestic Violence, Juanita Bynum Weeks Bynum finalized her divorce from her bow-tie wearing, Satan-blaming charisma-challenged husband, Bishop Thomas Weeks, III. I only comment on this because these two have provided some of the best material this blog has ever seen.

Not because of the violence, that was shameful and sad, but because these two publicity hounds turned what should have been a community's tragedy into a publicist's dream.

Indecent and out of order would have been the best way to describe the circus-like levels this foolishness rose to: Sending messages to each other through sermons and YouTube clips ( Yes, y'all Bishop Weeks has a Youtube Channel). Writing books, retracting books, requiring new $250,000 threshing floors because you can't use the one at your own home, going on every Black syndicated radio station in the country.

These two had me torn because I believe that domestic violence should come out of the shadows. I don't think it is a "private" matter. I think everybody ought to know. Victims should not be isolated. If one spouse is using the media to wage war with the other, I think the other spouse has a right to respond. On the other hand, people who hold themselves out to be shepherds ought to at least make some minimal effort to conduct themselves in a manner befitting the station they believe they've been called to.

If WWJD was the standard of conduct, I can't help asking if Jesus would set up a YouTube channel to send messages, make threats, and spread lies. Would he ask the sheep to contribute $250,000 for a new threshing floor or announce to advertisers that his new website was receiving 40 million hits due to the attention created by news of the abuse. Something just seemed unseemly about this whole mess from the time that Bishop Weeks blamed Satan for making him lay hands on his wife. A charge Satan vehemently denied.

This comment from Black Christian News just about summed up my sentiments:

Positive proof some preachers are just as daffy as their congregations or the people that follow them. These people aren't perfect, but have been duped into believing they have to be. Use your own head and stop this deification of celebrities. Preachers and Pastors are mailmen and women who bring the Word- they are not the Word. Self evaluation is the hardest task to perform. If we spent more time straightening ourselves out and less time worrying about who is going out with who, we might find ourselves living own lives a lot more abundantly. But wait, what would the reporters do then? Figure it out or perish.

So in the end, Juanita Bynum hot a gig working as a "consultant" on Divorce Court and a gig on ABC Family's Lincoln Heights. She got to go on Good Morning America, got a cover of ESSENCE and Thomas Weeks now has a YouTube Empire, $40,000 in attorney's fees and a 2004 Range Rover... With these gas prices??? He should have demanded a bicycle.

I have written a po-em in honor of the occasion because y'all know how the Bynum Weeks inspire my creative side:

So we bid adieu

to the marriage many of us never knew

yet ended up knowing more than we would care to

Before it was through

About these two

Couldn't tell who

was lying or true

about that parking lot milieu

I challenge you to sum up this situation with a Rhyme of your own.